if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize