If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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