My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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