it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
