she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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