so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
