I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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