There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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