she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
