Porn is love you can see.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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