There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You are the jesus of drinking
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
