i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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