My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
