I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
