Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
