would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i think i have herpe
just one?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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