So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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