i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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