I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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