porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
