I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
