I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize