My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
