bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
