Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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