dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i barfeds in our rink
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
