i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize