Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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