I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
