She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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