yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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