im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
