My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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