Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
