hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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