Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
