HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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