she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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