shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize