I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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