what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
