My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
