How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize