If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
