In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
God I need to hump something, right now.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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