I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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