sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
