he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
