I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
