I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
