Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
