He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
