what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
