Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
