this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
